Ever find an old journal? I keep mine and occasionally stumble upon the insight into who I once was and who I still am.
It blew me away
- some of the issues I thought were life shattering ( not getting invited to a party, the nerve of some people!).
- How I struggle with the same things, but to different degrees.
- the ridiculousness and awkwardness of being a teenager and a christian teenager.
- somethings that I forgot. dreams, insights, randomness from my earlier years.
I love journaling and have quite a few. I am always writing down practical things as well as not so practical things. It helps me to collect the plethora of thoughts that fly though my brain daily. I am not great at keeping up with a journal, sometimes the ramblings are frequent, other times, I forget for months.
My journal is my silent prayer. Sometimes it is my way to vent, scream and to sit still. I'm not sure what possessed me to keep one from the late nineties to the present. (YIKES) I love looking with fresh eyes and fresh perspective on the things I have written down. I love going back, and writing in the margins; this really happened on this date or Wow, I understand a little why this happened. Sometimes, I also imagine someone stumbling upon my story years from now and remarking on the oddities of my scrawlings. Like a granddaughter finding books in the attic.
"She was crazy."
" What would possess someone to be so silly?"
" So, that is what really happened!"
My journal makes me feel like a romantic. It makes me feel at times, He knows what exactly will be written before my pen hits the page. Just like my sighs and the unspoken longings of my heart, He knows those words yet to be written. I encourage myself and others (shh, they dont know) within the pages of my journal journey. I laugh a lot as I write; crying even more. I even have a smudge in one journal where a bird pooped on my page while sitting under a glorious tree.
My journey is not quite complete, even if I dont write it down. I will be sure to when I can.
More laughter, tears, adventures, hurt, pain, awesomeness, hope, love and life to be scrawled on the papers set before me.
How flipping cool.
Adieu,
Anne
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